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Kung Fu

Author: Mike Clough

Date Posted: Wednesday 4th May 2022

Did you ever used to watch the tv programme ‘Kung-fu’ featuring the actor, David Carradine? If you didn’t ….then you probably need to stop reading this as it won’t make much sense.

I have increasingly found myself comparing myself to Master Po…(see… I’ve just lost 98% of my readers).

For those of you still with me, Master Po was the ancient sensei who guided the young Kwai Chang Caine through his early trials as a Kung-fu trainee. Master Po was blind and had white hair with a long ponytail, he wore white robes and always walked with an air of quiet dignity. He was also a master at Kung-fu and often kicked ass when provoked.

Young Kwai often got himself into the proverbial shite and ended up going to Master Po for guidance. The guidance was often a bit bonkers along the lines of … ‘Do not provoke dragon when he is breathing fire…’ or… ‘Little flower can produce much venom if trodden on..’ but the young trainee gradually worked out what the old guy was on about and then kicked somebody else’s ass.

The programme was a huge influence on me and even now when I go for a pee in the middle of the night I imagine I’m Kwai Chang walking on rice paper trying not to make a sound.

Stick with me – I’ll get to the point.

My team are all younger than me. This doesn’t mean I’m ageist – it just means I’m old. So, I often find myself telling boring tales of my experience with various jobs that I’ve won or lost or cocked up …

Today one of the team came to me upset that he’d lost a project – he told me we had lost out to one of our competitors.

He then showed me the e-mail from the client.

‘…the works were let to another contractor…as they were not concerned re. the status of the material to be removed, hence the costs were significantly less than your quote.’

Our guy then asked whether we should be… ‘bending the rules’… to win projects as ‘being honest and professional’ ….was losing us work.

I slipped into Master Po mode.

‘When the dragon has made a mess in his cave, should you tell him it smells of flowers … ’

If anybody has any idea what I’m talking about please send answers on a post card to:

Mike’s lost the plot.

C/o JKSL
Itadori House
Melton Street
Radcliffe
Manchester
M26 4BR

 

Mike C.

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Mike Clough

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