Infamy, infamy they’ve all got it infamy….

I’ve always lived my life to my own agenda. I’ve never really followed the herd, in fact if the herd were going in one direction you could be pretty sure I’d be going in the opposite way.

Clothes, music, politics, cars – whatever everyone else thought was a good idea – I thought the opposite.

I quite often ‘discovered’ a band or an album from a new band that nobody had heard of and play it to death. Then as soon as the band became popular …I went off them …usually saying they’d ‘sold out to commercialism’.

I wore the bondage trousers with ripped T shirts with obscene slogans – I dyed my hair – I even had a mohican for a short period until they became passé.

I was the first person to buy ‘Never Mind the Bollocks’ from the local record shop in Glossop then rapidly went off the Pistols as they became famous.

Everything in my life was pretty much black and white. People were either friends or dickheads – music was either good or w**k.

My first car obsession was with the Saab 900, I just had to have one. Everybody said get a BMW or a Mercedes but I just had to have a Saab, because they had a style all of their own. They were an unknown…. people who drove Saabs couldn’t be put in a box – they were rebels, they were thinking differently.

I then went from Saabs to Audis via a TVR and then on to have pretty much every car I’d ever dreamed about.

My theory at that time was that – ‘you work hard, you put the hours in…you should have something that puts a smile on your face when you open the door to go to work’.

Job wise I went for being a Landscape Architect as at the time there were very few Landscape Architects around and it ticked all my environmental objectives.

I was very much the first person to recognise the business potential for dealing with Japanese knotweed and we were the first ever company to deal with only one plant. Pretty much everyone I told about this business idea thought it wouldn’t work and had limited potential. 22 years later it would appear that I was onto something …

I’ve also always eaten what I want….and drank pretty much what I wanted, whenever I wanted with no thought to the possible consequences…

Soooooo…as I’ve got older, I’ve got bigger, I’ve put on weight and I’ve exercised less and become less active …..and I’ve gone from doing site surveys and clambering over fences and walls to explore new sites …to sitting in boardrooms discussing cash flow and targets ….

This resulted in a heart attack and a battering by the health professionals who have put me on diets and recommended nutritionists and personal trainers and cut my drinking down to normal levels …

My car enthusiasm has recently been curtailed by the powers that be catching me briefly exceeding the speed limit and have banned me for six months. Huge fine, additional points on licence and zero interest in the impact this ban will have on my company profitability.

It would appear that if you are either royal, or very wealthy then the law will do very little to you …if however, you are a tax paying, middle earning, nobody …then you’re f***ed.

So –

Can’t eat.

Can’t drink.

Can’t drive…

What can I do ?

Well, I know what you’re thinking… but that’s off the agenda as well as my wife is so annoyed at me for losing my licence for speeding that she’s not talking to me …so the chance of any other activities is zero.

Maybe time and life have finally caught up with me and I should just fold over and follow the herd?

 

Get rid of the cars.

Buy a Taylor Swift album.

Shop at M and S for my clothing.

Eat kimchi …

‍♂️

 

Damn I’m screwed.